There was a movie out in theatres a few years back that starred Anthony Hopkins and Cuba Gooding. It was titled "INSTINCT", and the crazed character of Hopkins, a brilliant professor tainted by an experience with overseas research in the jungles of Africa, shed light on some things of which I had not previously been consciously aware. My favorite scene in the movie is when Gooding, the psychologist assigned to Hopkins' case, is forcefully held face-down on the table by his inmate client who remains shackled at the wrists. Hopkins asks his therapist repeatedly what he has lost? "WHAT HAVE YOU LOST?", he yells insistently. Gooding guesses cleverly, offering up power, choice, freedom, and control in answer to the impromptu quiz. Each time he is mistaken, his face is shoved violently against the table once again with a repeated, "NO! WHAT HAVE YOU LOST?" Finally, an idea seems to pass by Gooding's eyes as he cries out, "My illusions! I've lost my ILLUSIONS!" at which point he is immediatley released from the hold that Hopkins had on him physically. "Yes, you lost your illusions. Remember, even control is merely an illusion, boy."
What a powerful message - all is an illusion. Just as Solomon points out in the book of Ecclesiastes, all is vanity. It is all for show, all about appearances. We struggle to appear in control of our 'destiny' and our 'success'. When you really get down to it, what do we have? Our body? No, that is subject to injury, illness, and death. The body is actually very fragile. Our mind? No, also subject to attack and decay. Our life? No, that does not belong to us -nor did we make it - nor can we sustain it past the appointed time. Our time? No, for time is greatly fleeting and we fade quickly like the flowers of the field.
The truth is that we are nothing, and we have nothing that really belongs to us. Even our own lives are not our own. ALL CONTROL IS ILLUSION. We expend major amounts of energy attempting to control our environments, our relationships, our health, and how we spend our time. I must agree with Solomon categorically - it is all vanity.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
SORTING
It’s a huge, fine mess
Of tangled up strings
With knots tied tight
Representing things
That caught us up
And thus enlarged
The ball of wax
Or house of cards
That’s fallen far
Below the line
That once was straight
But now defined
By twisted yarns
So that the time
To sort it out
Becomes a daunting task.
KDC 9/08
Of tangled up strings
With knots tied tight
Representing things
That caught us up
And thus enlarged
The ball of wax
Or house of cards
That’s fallen far
Below the line
That once was straight
But now defined
By twisted yarns
So that the time
To sort it out
Becomes a daunting task.
KDC 9/08
Thursday, September 11, 2008
ALL MY OWN
My troubles are my own doing,
I can not blame them on you, God.
From my decisions the dilemma comes,
For consequences match choices.
My God has no need to punish,
For the result of my own actions
Is enough to cause me pain,
I can not put the blame on you, God.
Perhaps my God is at fault
For doing nothing to save me
From these difficulties,
For leaving me to my sin?
My troubles are my own doing,
And if He saves or spares me
Then I will not learn,
My God knows this full well.
If anger overtakes me
As I suffer from my self-concern,
I’ll not direct it at my Lord
For my troubles are my own doing.
My troubles are my own doing,
I can not blame them on you, God.
From my decisions the dilemma comes,
For consequences match choices.
My God has no need to punish,
For the result of my own actions
Is enough to cause me pain,
I can not put the blame on you, God.
Perhaps my God is at fault
For doing nothing to save me
From these difficulties,
For leaving me to my sin?
My troubles are my own doing,
And if He saves or spares me
Then I will not learn,
My God knows this full well.
If anger overtakes me
As I suffer from my self-concern,
I’ll not direct it at my Lord
For my troubles are my own doing.
Monday, September 8, 2008
THE IMPORTANCE OF WORDS
They all say their lines in perfect style,
Delivering words like fountain pennies,
Heaping their cheapened utterance on tired ears
That beg for valuable silence.
No one takes them seriously anymore,
These thespians of the modern age
Who speak for the sake of filling time
With sound lest they’re forced to think.
We’re buried in a lack of meaning,
Saddened that gone is the day when art
Was all about communication,
Well-crafted and designed to impact.
If I wax poetic it is only because
I love the careful combination
Of symbols we call language,
This powerful tool for sharing ourselves.
The words existed before mankind,
Forming in the vortex of space and time
Until they could not help but create,
For words become what they define.
Delivering words like fountain pennies,
Heaping their cheapened utterance on tired ears
That beg for valuable silence.
No one takes them seriously anymore,
These thespians of the modern age
Who speak for the sake of filling time
With sound lest they’re forced to think.
We’re buried in a lack of meaning,
Saddened that gone is the day when art
Was all about communication,
Well-crafted and designed to impact.
If I wax poetic it is only because
I love the careful combination
Of symbols we call language,
This powerful tool for sharing ourselves.
The words existed before mankind,
Forming in the vortex of space and time
Until they could not help but create,
For words become what they define.
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Loving Too Much
This is a subject which I have pondered extensively, and which at first glance seems to present us with a catch 22. If our purpose in life is to love others, as God has dictated, then how could we possibly love too much? If love is entirely good, which the Word also assures, then how could more love ever be bad? Using the most common tools of rationalization, it is hard to ascertain how "too much love" could be a possibility at all.
There have been times in my life when I thought my heart would burst, when experiencing the purity of God-love for someone. This love is without thought, selfless, deeper than emotion, and painfully real. When it is experienced, time stops as we recognize the limitless power of God's art in an individual's design. It is then that we recognize the infinite nature of God, and feel humbled at our own ignorance. However, there is a very fine line between this real, divine love and its counterfeit! The counterfeit is what we know as obsession. Obsession occurs when instead of simply appreciating divine love for its existence and appearance, we begin to want it for ourselves, more and more of it, and we never want the experience of it to end.
I submit that it is, in fact, possible to love a person too much. Here I must steal a quote from (once again) the incomparable C.S. Lewis, "The Four Loves". In this work, he states...
"It is not possible to love someone too much, it is only possible that we love someone too much in comparison with our love for God."
Any of us who have identified with this question in any regard - with respect to a person, a material possession, a substance, a beloved animal, an occupation, or a child - are immediately silenced by the above statement. It is so obvious, so plain once we see it clearly in writing. Yes, it is all about the priority of our loves and the first command ever given the human race by God himself... "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul". The second is like unto it, "Love your neighbor as yourself". The order of these commands is paramount. FIRST, we love GOD with our whole being. THEN we are able to love others and love ourselves. If the subtle temptation to reverse the order overcomes us and we begin to love the gift more than the giver, we are loving someone or something too much in comparison with our love for God which must precede and supercede all other loves.
There have been times in my life when I thought my heart would burst, when experiencing the purity of God-love for someone. This love is without thought, selfless, deeper than emotion, and painfully real. When it is experienced, time stops as we recognize the limitless power of God's art in an individual's design. It is then that we recognize the infinite nature of God, and feel humbled at our own ignorance. However, there is a very fine line between this real, divine love and its counterfeit! The counterfeit is what we know as obsession. Obsession occurs when instead of simply appreciating divine love for its existence and appearance, we begin to want it for ourselves, more and more of it, and we never want the experience of it to end.
I submit that it is, in fact, possible to love a person too much. Here I must steal a quote from (once again) the incomparable C.S. Lewis, "The Four Loves". In this work, he states...
"It is not possible to love someone too much, it is only possible that we love someone too much in comparison with our love for God."
Any of us who have identified with this question in any regard - with respect to a person, a material possession, a substance, a beloved animal, an occupation, or a child - are immediately silenced by the above statement. It is so obvious, so plain once we see it clearly in writing. Yes, it is all about the priority of our loves and the first command ever given the human race by God himself... "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your mind, and all your soul". The second is like unto it, "Love your neighbor as yourself". The order of these commands is paramount. FIRST, we love GOD with our whole being. THEN we are able to love others and love ourselves. If the subtle temptation to reverse the order overcomes us and we begin to love the gift more than the giver, we are loving someone or something too much in comparison with our love for God which must precede and supercede all other loves.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Monday, August 18, 2008
NOTHING LIKE YOU
You’ve tried so hard
But we keep messing up
Because it’s what we do best,
Taking what’s perfect
And making it “better”,
Avoiding the need to confess.
You’ve called and drawn
The worst of us towards you
Because you love us that much,
But we find our ways
To go it alone again,
Still shying away from your touch.
You’ve saved us from
The curse of selfishness
Over and over in time,
Yet here we are fighting
For personal ground,
Unable to see down the line.
You’ve given your all
And spared not your son
That we might have rest for our souls,
But we don’t believe
In a truly good being,
Assuming we lack as a whole.
You’ve opened the gates
To let mercy flow down
On us who are nothing like you,
Convinced we’re the rulers
Of our destiny
And right to invent our own truth.
You are ever patient,
Slowest to anger,
Filled with compassion for us,
Although we rebel
And insist we know better,
You look on us always in love.
KDC 8/08
But we keep messing up
Because it’s what we do best,
Taking what’s perfect
And making it “better”,
Avoiding the need to confess.
You’ve called and drawn
The worst of us towards you
Because you love us that much,
But we find our ways
To go it alone again,
Still shying away from your touch.
You’ve saved us from
The curse of selfishness
Over and over in time,
Yet here we are fighting
For personal ground,
Unable to see down the line.
You’ve given your all
And spared not your son
That we might have rest for our souls,
But we don’t believe
In a truly good being,
Assuming we lack as a whole.
You’ve opened the gates
To let mercy flow down
On us who are nothing like you,
Convinced we’re the rulers
Of our destiny
And right to invent our own truth.
You are ever patient,
Slowest to anger,
Filled with compassion for us,
Although we rebel
And insist we know better,
You look on us always in love.
KDC 8/08
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
"FREE" WILL
Let's take a look at the subject of free will. To quote my favorite author of the 20th century, C.S. Lewis, "God gave us free will in order that we might love. Without the choice to love, we are merely robots. Love that is commanded or executed by some higher force is no love at all." Who can dispute this argument? I certainly can not. Love, by its nature, involves placing the object of the love above oneself. That is difficult for most, impossible for some. But beyond the implications that free will has towards the subject of love, what about its general purpose and use? Is Free Will really free? I propose that it is not. Free will is an illusion, for every choice that we make has consequence. We are free to make choices of our own volition and will, yes. However, those choices always affect the lives of others, for no man is an island (to quote another famous author).
For example, suppose that I choose to exert my free will in drinking alcohol. I choose to imbibe regular copious amounts of it until I am entrenched in the habit of becoming intoxicated. Is there anything to stop me from doing so? No, for I have free will. However, the consequence of these actions to my family, friends, and even total strangers might be quite dire. My health would surely deteriorate, my judgement become clouded, my motivation lax, and my motor skills slowed. The repercussions of my drunkeness would continue into the far reaches of my life like circles on the water into which a pebble has been thrown. My "free will" therefore, is not free at all, for it is inherently tied to the lives of others. If we love others, then we consider them before ourselves. Therefore, my will must be bent toward what is best for those that I love.
This is the crux of the argument, the bending of the will. Truly the only choice that we actually have is in what direction to bend it, correct? We might choose to bend our will toward selfishness, toward obsession, toward work, toward intellect, toward the approval of others, or toward God. The latter is the only appropriate choice, since only God's will is superior to our own. If we consciously choose to bend our will toward God's, using the freedom that we have to choose what is best and most right according to our conscience, then we have directed our choices in the most altruistic manner possible. Only in this scenario is the free will used to influence others in good ways instead of bad.
The exercising of the will is likened to any other form of exercise - it must be enacted over and over again in order to be in good shape, as we call it. Our will is accustomed to fighting, to having its way, to satisfying and gratifying the desires of the flesh. The more we bend it toward the will of God, the more it is accustomed to doing so. The more we bend it toward the needs of self, the more it is accustomed to doing so. The muscle of the "free" will is exercised any time we make choices that are of import to the lives of others.
I submit that the choices detailed above are the most crucially important in any human life. Which way will your will bend?
For example, suppose that I choose to exert my free will in drinking alcohol. I choose to imbibe regular copious amounts of it until I am entrenched in the habit of becoming intoxicated. Is there anything to stop me from doing so? No, for I have free will. However, the consequence of these actions to my family, friends, and even total strangers might be quite dire. My health would surely deteriorate, my judgement become clouded, my motivation lax, and my motor skills slowed. The repercussions of my drunkeness would continue into the far reaches of my life like circles on the water into which a pebble has been thrown. My "free will" therefore, is not free at all, for it is inherently tied to the lives of others. If we love others, then we consider them before ourselves. Therefore, my will must be bent toward what is best for those that I love.
This is the crux of the argument, the bending of the will. Truly the only choice that we actually have is in what direction to bend it, correct? We might choose to bend our will toward selfishness, toward obsession, toward work, toward intellect, toward the approval of others, or toward God. The latter is the only appropriate choice, since only God's will is superior to our own. If we consciously choose to bend our will toward God's, using the freedom that we have to choose what is best and most right according to our conscience, then we have directed our choices in the most altruistic manner possible. Only in this scenario is the free will used to influence others in good ways instead of bad.
The exercising of the will is likened to any other form of exercise - it must be enacted over and over again in order to be in good shape, as we call it. Our will is accustomed to fighting, to having its way, to satisfying and gratifying the desires of the flesh. The more we bend it toward the will of God, the more it is accustomed to doing so. The more we bend it toward the needs of self, the more it is accustomed to doing so. The muscle of the "free" will is exercised any time we make choices that are of import to the lives of others.
I submit that the choices detailed above are the most crucially important in any human life. Which way will your will bend?
Friday, July 11, 2008
Is Anyone truly Surrendered?
The White Flag
Surrender comes in many colors
Like the blue of fallen dreams
Bordered ‘round the hazy yellows
Where illusion used to be
In solid purple ‘gainst the gold
That was control’s majestic beat
Marching next to independence,
Red and brazen inside me.
Behold the grayness under choices
Fitting pieces perfectly
‘Til over blackness there’s a portrait
Dressed in humble subtlety
And waiting for the narrow brush
To detail where the white should be
A banner waving dawn to dusk
Proclaiming what we know as free.
KDC 7/08
Surrender comes in many colors
Like the blue of fallen dreams
Bordered ‘round the hazy yellows
Where illusion used to be
In solid purple ‘gainst the gold
That was control’s majestic beat
Marching next to independence,
Red and brazen inside me.
Behold the grayness under choices
Fitting pieces perfectly
‘Til over blackness there’s a portrait
Dressed in humble subtlety
And waiting for the narrow brush
To detail where the white should be
A banner waving dawn to dusk
Proclaiming what we know as free.
KDC 7/08
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Ever Wonder?
THE MEANING
What does it mean for the heart to open,
When memory’s flood reappears,
Where does it take us to places forgotten,
And how can we see it all clear?
Whenever we look straight into the sunlight
It’s blinding to one who is not prepared
But when we are ready to see what it shines on
True lessons are learned from what’s there.
Relationships past and long since unbidden
Are coming to mind and exposed in the heart
Teaching me why I was there in the first place
And truths they were meant to impart.
The spirits of people I loved in this lifetime
Will always remain close at hand
And recalling their laughter, their touch,
Or their eyes brings back what we couldn’t have planned.
What does it mean to love one another
The way that the Lord has loved us?
Isn’t there surely a permanent marker
On souls that have empathized much?
I praise the artist in heaven above
For finally drawing my heart
Out of its shelter that served as a prison
And kept us all trapped in the dark.
What does it mean for the heart to open,
When memory’s flood reappears,
Where does it take us to places forgotten,
And how can we see it all clear?
Whenever we look straight into the sunlight
It’s blinding to one who is not prepared
But when we are ready to see what it shines on
True lessons are learned from what’s there.
Relationships past and long since unbidden
Are coming to mind and exposed in the heart
Teaching me why I was there in the first place
And truths they were meant to impart.
The spirits of people I loved in this lifetime
Will always remain close at hand
And recalling their laughter, their touch,
Or their eyes brings back what we couldn’t have planned.
What does it mean to love one another
The way that the Lord has loved us?
Isn’t there surely a permanent marker
On souls that have empathized much?
I praise the artist in heaven above
For finally drawing my heart
Out of its shelter that served as a prison
And kept us all trapped in the dark.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)