A wise man once said... that trust is like a Piggy Bank. When a relationship begins, we are eager to fill up the bank and do things for one another that engender trust. Each time we come closer to completely trusting one another, we deposit another coin. Throughout the relationship, as it grows and ages, coins are deposited and are also removed. The initial positive balance coming from the eager first stages of the relationship should be plenty to cover any removals.
However, sometimes a betrayal is so great that the piggy bank is broken and all coins are lost. The 2 parties in the relationship must then decide whether to glue the piggy bank back together and begin again depositing coins, or to go their separate ways. The balance, though, it at zero after a major betrayal. This makes it more difficult then with a fresh relationship because it is easier to go into a deficit or negative balance of coins. It is a great committment, a difficult thing, and requires patience and endurance - but it is not impossible. After all, we know that nothing is impossible with the help of God.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
ESCORT
In the windswept morning
A single duck crosses ripples
On glassy pond’s surface,
Water reflecting sunlight
From farther away
Than we dare to imagine,
As far as I feel removed
At times like these.
He swims alone content,
Although lacking company,
Part of a picture
That will not last,
An image burnt into the mind of one,
The forms and colors giving rise
To moods and thoughts
For one moment’s import.
I watch and feel saddened
By his apparent missing partner,
Companion unfound
With whom to swim,
Then realize I too am alone
And haven’t regret,
For the day as my escort
Has reached me already.
A single duck crosses ripples
On glassy pond’s surface,
Water reflecting sunlight
From farther away
Than we dare to imagine,
As far as I feel removed
At times like these.
He swims alone content,
Although lacking company,
Part of a picture
That will not last,
An image burnt into the mind of one,
The forms and colors giving rise
To moods and thoughts
For one moment’s import.
I watch and feel saddened
By his apparent missing partner,
Companion unfound
With whom to swim,
Then realize I too am alone
And haven’t regret,
For the day as my escort
Has reached me already.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
The Learning Process Called Life
I was thinking about why it is that I often find myself wishing to "just be left alone"...
And what do I really mean by that? Do I really want to be left, and to be alone? Well, no - not for an extended period of time - but maybe just for a while. And does it sound as harsh to others as it sounds to me when I hear myself say it? "Leave me alone!" or "I wish you would all just leave me alone!" doesn't do much in the tact department. I feel guilty for thinking it, to be honest. But honesty is what this blog's about, and in that interest I willingly admit that I do, in fact, often want to be left alone.
So I began to think about WHY I might want to be left alone, which predominately occurs shortly after someone has begun trying to tell me how to live my life. So when another person, well meaning as they may be, tries to make a decision for me or otherwise give me advice that I never asked for, to which I feel obliged to listen - I would rather just be left alone. Basically, that makes sense.
Then WHY does it frustrate me so much when others try to give me advice or tell me what I "should" do? It angers me because I am a careful decision-maker, and I take care to think everything through before coming to a conclusion. I am not impulsive about important decisions but rather I am analytical and I ALWAYS, I mean ALWAYS, have reasons for the choices I make. On top of that, I am prepared to accept the consequences for such. So in conclusion, I believe that unsought advice insults me, condescends to me, assumes that I make decisions without thinking them through, which couldn't be farther from the truth.
Based on the above argument, I'm saying that I am angered when someone assumes something untrue about me, or considers me to be less than an authority on my own decisions. I am frustrated when I am misunderstood, especially when I am understood to be less than what I am in actuality. Yes, that's definitely the ticket.
How did I become the owner of this button for others to push? What did I witness in my formative years that made me this way? I believe it has to do with walking in another person's shoes, and this is actually the subject matter of this post. Yeah, I'm just now getting to it - are you tired of reading? I pray you are not. This is important. It is important to me, anyway.
You see, I can't assume that my ideas are important to another person because maybe they're not. Depending on the shoes they are wearing, it may not matter at all. And how can I give another person advice if I do not know where their shoes have been? Perhaps I am explaining how they can remove bubble gum from their soles, not even knowing whether they've stepped in any. How would that help them? Suppose I am sharing about how I've been dealing with the small pebble stuck inside my sneaker for years now, when they pipe up to say that they've had several sandspurs in their socks for as long as they can remember? Do you see my point? I DON'T BLOODY KNOW WHAT ANOTHER PERSON HAS BEEN THROUGH, nor what they are currently GOING through, nor what SHAPED them, nor how they THINK because I AM NOT THEM. We are all unique, different, special, worthy of listening to. Ordering you to read this post, or telling you that it is in your best interest and therefore you should partake of it doesn't make it any more or less pertinent in your own life.
How does this relate to the way that humans learn? Is this information important to the title of this post, the "Learning Process Called Life"? Of course it is, and I will explain (of course). How does a human being learn? We learn by experience, by trying things, by the things that happen to us. As babies, we learn how to get food, how to get the attention of others, how to receive love. As we grow, we continue to learn what works and what doesn't. When we try things and have disastrous results, we don't try them again. With mediocre results, we might. With positive results, we will. That's how it works until maturity starts setting in and we realize that SOME people actually might be giving us information we can count on, so that we don't have to try everything ourselves. If we trust a given information source enough, we might take their word for something instead of having to test it out. Therefore, TRUST can help us to avoid the disastrous results mentioned above in favor of learning a different way. We are still learning by experience, but now we are learning by someone else's experience!
In the previous paragraph, I made a point that I would like to reiterate. TRUST in other people can help us to avoid the disastrous results of bad choices. I have already stated that I make my life decisions carefully. Therefore, what scenario would create an atmosphere for me in which I might make a bad choice? Temptation comes to mind - that's one atmosphere in which I have lost my head in the past. Fear comes to mind - another arena in which fearing the negative response of another person caused me to choose unwisely. Pride, or an attempt to prove something also must be mentioned in this context. Certainly bad decisions are made in the attempt to prove ourselves worthy of praise or accolade or admiration or some such.
In the above statement, and this is important :-) remember :-), giving in to Temptation represents a lack of trust in God, giving in to Fear represents a lack of trust in others, and Pride demonstrates a lack of trust in ourselves. Therefore, I have proven systematically that a lack of TRUST in God, others, and ourselves can lead to bad choices. Bad choices lead to consequences and the disastrous results which keep us from trying again, and keep us from trusting anyone the next time. A lack of trust in any caring, loving relationship (whether with God or others or ourself) results in a lack of desire for the assistance of others, including unsolicited advice. And unsolicited advice leads to the desire to be "left alone".
Backwards and forwards, there's no other way to say it - TRUST MATTERS. Once we have learned NOT to trust, unlearning the reasons why and beginning to trust again requires miraculous intervention.
And what do I really mean by that? Do I really want to be left, and to be alone? Well, no - not for an extended period of time - but maybe just for a while. And does it sound as harsh to others as it sounds to me when I hear myself say it? "Leave me alone!" or "I wish you would all just leave me alone!" doesn't do much in the tact department. I feel guilty for thinking it, to be honest. But honesty is what this blog's about, and in that interest I willingly admit that I do, in fact, often want to be left alone.
So I began to think about WHY I might want to be left alone, which predominately occurs shortly after someone has begun trying to tell me how to live my life. So when another person, well meaning as they may be, tries to make a decision for me or otherwise give me advice that I never asked for, to which I feel obliged to listen - I would rather just be left alone. Basically, that makes sense.
Then WHY does it frustrate me so much when others try to give me advice or tell me what I "should" do? It angers me because I am a careful decision-maker, and I take care to think everything through before coming to a conclusion. I am not impulsive about important decisions but rather I am analytical and I ALWAYS, I mean ALWAYS, have reasons for the choices I make. On top of that, I am prepared to accept the consequences for such. So in conclusion, I believe that unsought advice insults me, condescends to me, assumes that I make decisions without thinking them through, which couldn't be farther from the truth.
Based on the above argument, I'm saying that I am angered when someone assumes something untrue about me, or considers me to be less than an authority on my own decisions. I am frustrated when I am misunderstood, especially when I am understood to be less than what I am in actuality. Yes, that's definitely the ticket.
How did I become the owner of this button for others to push? What did I witness in my formative years that made me this way? I believe it has to do with walking in another person's shoes, and this is actually the subject matter of this post. Yeah, I'm just now getting to it - are you tired of reading? I pray you are not. This is important. It is important to me, anyway.
You see, I can't assume that my ideas are important to another person because maybe they're not. Depending on the shoes they are wearing, it may not matter at all. And how can I give another person advice if I do not know where their shoes have been? Perhaps I am explaining how they can remove bubble gum from their soles, not even knowing whether they've stepped in any. How would that help them? Suppose I am sharing about how I've been dealing with the small pebble stuck inside my sneaker for years now, when they pipe up to say that they've had several sandspurs in their socks for as long as they can remember? Do you see my point? I DON'T BLOODY KNOW WHAT ANOTHER PERSON HAS BEEN THROUGH, nor what they are currently GOING through, nor what SHAPED them, nor how they THINK because I AM NOT THEM. We are all unique, different, special, worthy of listening to. Ordering you to read this post, or telling you that it is in your best interest and therefore you should partake of it doesn't make it any more or less pertinent in your own life.
How does this relate to the way that humans learn? Is this information important to the title of this post, the "Learning Process Called Life"? Of course it is, and I will explain (of course). How does a human being learn? We learn by experience, by trying things, by the things that happen to us. As babies, we learn how to get food, how to get the attention of others, how to receive love. As we grow, we continue to learn what works and what doesn't. When we try things and have disastrous results, we don't try them again. With mediocre results, we might. With positive results, we will. That's how it works until maturity starts setting in and we realize that SOME people actually might be giving us information we can count on, so that we don't have to try everything ourselves. If we trust a given information source enough, we might take their word for something instead of having to test it out. Therefore, TRUST can help us to avoid the disastrous results mentioned above in favor of learning a different way. We are still learning by experience, but now we are learning by someone else's experience!
In the previous paragraph, I made a point that I would like to reiterate. TRUST in other people can help us to avoid the disastrous results of bad choices. I have already stated that I make my life decisions carefully. Therefore, what scenario would create an atmosphere for me in which I might make a bad choice? Temptation comes to mind - that's one atmosphere in which I have lost my head in the past. Fear comes to mind - another arena in which fearing the negative response of another person caused me to choose unwisely. Pride, or an attempt to prove something also must be mentioned in this context. Certainly bad decisions are made in the attempt to prove ourselves worthy of praise or accolade or admiration or some such.
In the above statement, and this is important :-) remember :-), giving in to Temptation represents a lack of trust in God, giving in to Fear represents a lack of trust in others, and Pride demonstrates a lack of trust in ourselves. Therefore, I have proven systematically that a lack of TRUST in God, others, and ourselves can lead to bad choices. Bad choices lead to consequences and the disastrous results which keep us from trying again, and keep us from trusting anyone the next time. A lack of trust in any caring, loving relationship (whether with God or others or ourself) results in a lack of desire for the assistance of others, including unsolicited advice. And unsolicited advice leads to the desire to be "left alone".
Backwards and forwards, there's no other way to say it - TRUST MATTERS. Once we have learned NOT to trust, unlearning the reasons why and beginning to trust again requires miraculous intervention.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Gender Analogy
As women, we tie ourselves to the fates of these men who, driven by passions and lusts, seek to prove themselves at every turn. Just like a child strapped to the back of its mother as she gathers, we are needy and dependent, having little to offer our provider save comfort and love. We whisper in the ear of the one to whom we are yoked but he doesn't always hear over the din of his ambition. We cling, hanging on for life as his conquests rise before him. Time and again he stumbles, and we pick ourselves up first, helping him to stand before climbing back into the passenger seat. The events we witness along the way might jade us, changing the way we understand this leader creature. In the end we haven't a choice but to learn to steer gently, clutch without distracting or injuring, close our eyes when in danger of offense, and make the most of our role as assistant.
KDC 11/08
KDC 11/08
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)