CONTROL ME

There was a movie out in theatres a few years back that starred Anthony Hopkins and Cuba Gooding. It was titled "INSTINCT", and the crazed character of Hopkins, a brilliant professor tainted by an experience with overseas research in the jungles of Africa, shed light on some things of which I had not previously been consciously aware. My favorite scene in the movie is when Gooding, the psychologist assigned to Hopkins' case, is forcefully held face-down on the table by his inmate client who remains shackled at the wrists. Hopkins asks his therapist repeatedly what he has lost? "WHAT HAVE YOU LOST?", he yells insistently. Gooding guesses cleverly, offering up power, choice, freedom, and control in answer to the impromptu quiz. Each time he is mistaken, his face is shoved violently against the table once again with a repeated, "NO! WHAT HAVE YOU LOST?" Finally, an idea seems to pass by Gooding's eyes as he cries out, "My illusions! I've lost my ILLUSIONS!" at which point he is immediatley released from the hold that Hopkins had on him physically. "Yes, you lost your illusions. Remember, even control is merely an illusion, boy."

What a powerful message - all is an illusion. Just as Solomon points out in the book of Ecclesiastes, all is vanity. It is all for show, all about appearances. We struggle to appear in control of our 'destiny' and our 'success'. When you really get down to it, what do we have? Our body? No, that is subject to injury, illness, and death. The body is actually very fragile. Our mind? No, also subject to attack and decay. Our life? No, that does not belong to us -nor did we make it - nor can we sustain it past the appointed time. Our time? No, for time is greatly fleeting and we fade quickly like the flowers of the field.

The truth is that we are nothing, and we have nothing that really belongs to us. Even our own lives are not our own. ALL CONTROL IS ILLUSION. We expend major amounts of energy attempting to control our environments, our relationships, our health, and how we spend our time. I must agree with Solomon categorically - it is all vanity.

SORTING

It’s a huge, fine mess
Of tangled up strings
With knots tied tight
Representing things
That caught us up
And thus enlarged
The ball of wax
Or house of cards
That’s fallen far
Below the line
That once was straight
But now defined
By twisted yarns
So that the time
To sort it out
Becomes a daunting task.


KDC 9/08

ALL MY OWN

My troubles are my own doing,
I can not blame them on you, God.
From my decisions the dilemma comes,
For consequences match choices.

My God has no need to punish,
For the result of my own actions
Is enough to cause me pain,
I can not put the blame on you, God.

Perhaps my God is at fault
For doing nothing to save me
From these difficulties,
For leaving me to my sin?

My troubles are my own doing,
And if He saves or spares me
Then I will not learn,
My God knows this full well.

If anger overtakes me
As I suffer from my self-concern,
I’ll not direct it at my Lord
For my troubles are my own doing.

THE IMPORTANCE OF WORDS

They all say their lines in perfect style,
Delivering words like fountain pennies,
Heaping their cheapened utterance on tired ears
That beg for valuable silence.

No one takes them seriously anymore,
These thespians of the modern age
Who speak for the sake of filling time
With sound lest they’re forced to think.

We’re buried in a lack of meaning,
Saddened that gone is the day when art
Was all about communication,
Well-crafted and designed to impact.

If I wax poetic it is only because
I love the careful combination
Of symbols we call language,
This powerful tool for sharing ourselves.

The words existed before mankind,
Forming in the vortex of space and time
Until they could not help but create,
For words become what they define.