PERCEPTION

Excruciating,
The penetrating gaze
Under which I falter,
Dropping clutched hope
From guilty hands
While straining to see
The mark that I miss
And constantly the light,
Mocking my efforts
To perceive clearly,
Shines down its holy white
Intimidation
To expose my failing features.

Unexpected,
The sudden tenderness
Under which I fall,
Receiving love’s warmth
In empty hands
Extended for redemption,
And constantly the light,
Focusing, holding
My attention fast,
Streams down its pure
Compassion
To enlighten me of His
Wholly benign nature.

WHAT COMES NATURAL

That which comes
Naturally to me
Is the very thing
I should avoid,
Masquerading as God-given
It grabs me wholly,
Insisting on its validity,
Persuading me rationally,
Invading my thoughts
With seeming synchronicity.

That which comes
Naturally to me
Is the very thing
I learned to do
While coping with life,
Learning as a child does
To take control, avoid pain,
Escape disappointment,
Take care of myself,
Disregard the loneliness.

That which comes
Naturally to me
Is a resulting thing
And not at heart,
For underneath its fierce emotion
Lies divine intention
Waiting to be discovered,
Patiently knocking
On the door of my conscience,
Ready to unveil the unreal me.

That which comes
Naturally to me
Commands the flesh
To WAR against
The Spirit of the living Christ
And His quiet truth
I am called to walk in
And draw from, yielding to
The absence of demanding rationale…
In hopes of attaining the prefix super-.

GHOST

I'm chasing a ghost
That I can not take hold of
And often can not even see
Elusive, intangible,
Slips through my hands
Like the notion that
She's the real me.

She flickers and motions,
Still now inconsistent
And made up of vapors and wisps,
This creature I long to
Become and embody
Does not utter words
From her lips.

I know her by instinct
And never by logic,
She haunts to the
Core of my soul,
Believing and calling,
Always with Spirit,
But she would not seek to control.

It's fear that reminds me
Why I won't become her,
Still trapped in the
Shell of this skin,
And strangely enough
It's surrender I run from
While holding the best of me in.

In Christ Alone

I have no defense
But Christ alone,
The reason for all that I do,
Who raises me up
To more than I am
And sees that my heart remains true.

I have no footing
But Christ alone,
The rock upon which I must stand,
Who carries the weight
Of my burdens with ease
And holds me within His right hand.

I have no intention
But Christ’s alone,
His Kingdom is all that I see,
‘Til bringing Him glory
Becomes my obsession,
My trust in His goodness complete.


6/10

BETRAYAL

This I do not understand,
How good intention, reaching out,
Is stricken down by accusation,
That which seeks but to uphold
Is torn apart in daft delusion,
That professed as friendship
Now mistaken for derision –
And it feels like broken promise
As betrayal cold and dark
Comes to do its bitter calling,
Sure to miss the trusted mark.

Something Like This...

This Emotion is a Demon
Struggling to be set free
From the prison I have formed
By trapping it inside of me
For fear its power, ever loosed,
Might take control unstoppably
And turn the thinking I depend on
Into liability
In effort to fulfill the flesh
That cries out of its awful need
For give and take between another
Bonding us entirely
‘Til I no more exist as one
Alone with this insanity.




KDC 5/2010

I AM NOT

I am not to be God
But to show Him,
I am just to speak
The truth in love,
I am not to force you
To believe me
But to point you to
The One to trust.
I am not to save you
From your folly
But to pick you up
When you might fall,
I am not to change you,
Though I want to!
I am needful of
A change of mind,
For I am not to think
But let go of me,
When falling for lies
Of such vanity -
And I am not too proud
To need you to show,
But not to force,
Speaking in love
Thus to point me
Into submitting unto
The One we trust.

PRESENCE

When your presence
Finds existence
I am swallowed,
Taken up
In overwhelming
Understanding
Of the smallness
Of my love
Compared with
You who speak
Creation
And surround
All that we see
With power endless
In compassion
Never ceasing
But to BE.

IT

I looked for it,
But found it gone -
Funny how it took so long
To faith avow
And make response
Without anticipation.

I felt it there
In younger times,
Adopted it as ever mine
Until without
Was awkward more
Than being in its presence.

I miss it some,
For hinged on such
Was in myself a measured trust
But nonetheless
The safety there
Was never to fulfill.

I do not know
Quite how to feel
Without the constant need to heal
The sordid wounds
That taught me fear
I think I’ll live without.



KDC 4/2010

The Wisdom of Oswald

"You cannot have a moral vacation and remain moral, nor can you have a spiritual holiday and remain spiritual."