SLAVE

Lord, break me of self-realization

‘Til I know of naught but you

And in that hour of crucifixion

Help me all else to forget

For I am worn from holding onto

Hows and whys and wanting yets.



I can’t support this heavy knowledge,

Care no more to figure out

The nuance of the fraud I saw as

Independence safe and proud,

For all I’ve ever been in charge of

Left me losing solid ground.



All the things that passed before now

Add up to the empty sum

Of what it took for me to give up

Willfulness to be my own

And I’m ashamed at how I fought

For years to hold the rights you won.



So go ahead and take away

My claim to who I am,

And I will be your grateful slave,

Submitting to your hand,

Owned and set free at your word,

Nevermore to take my stand.



The only thing I must remember

For all of eternity

Is this day when I surrendered

To the right authority

Ever living or to come,

For all of lost humanity.

HABITATION

If His life inhabits mine,
Then does He not sustain me?
If I claim His Spirit to reside,
On what more can I rely?
What else do I think to need
Than God Himself?
Preposterous, this supposition
That takes for granted
The very nature of the reborn
Soul, having at its disposal
All-surpassing resource!
Power, love, and mercy complete
Abiding within this vessel!
A constant companion,
He conquers all loneliness,
Providing cover beneath His wings
And ever-present help,
Setting me free from despair!
Why do I yet forget it,
The explosive and vast potential
Within the very heart of me?
Is this not a gift to treasure,
Worth giving up every scrap of myself?
How can any earthly pleasure compare?
Momentary, fleeting, and minor
Are the joys of this world
Compared with the very essence,
The just and creative force
Of the God of the universe
Bound to us, its tiny seed!

TO LOVE ME SO

You speak to me
In truths profound
And make my ears to hear,
As other senses
Fade beyond attention…
And your voice,
Now paramount,
Plants your Words
Inside a mind paused
In broken thought,
Whispered terms
That occupy
Consciousness’ space
For brief revelation,
Unbearably true!
Then disappear,
Regardless of efforts
To hold them fast -
Yet they linger
In realization deep,
Serving purpose
With miraculous impact,
This divine transaction,
Spirit’s contact,
Solely for reaching
Into a life’s timeline,
Purely because…
It pleases you
To love me so.

I do not know what's best for me
But that's not what I think,
As thoughts betray
My wicked heart
That lusts for my own way
Through the muddied water
Of recurring illusion
I stray once more,
Unconvinced of my own folly
Except in Spirit mild,
Its power contained in Words
I must seek for correction,
Repenting again and again
Of this consuming idolatry.

PERCEPTION

Excruciating,
The penetrating gaze
Under which I falter,
Dropping clutched hope
From guilty hands
While straining to see
The mark that I miss
And constantly the light,
Mocking my efforts
To perceive clearly,
Shines down its holy white
Intimidation
To expose my failing features.

Unexpected,
The sudden tenderness
Under which I fall,
Receiving love’s warmth
In empty hands
Extended for redemption,
And constantly the light,
Focusing, holding
My attention fast,
Streams down its pure
Compassion
To enlighten me of His
Wholly benign nature.

WHAT COMES NATURAL

That which comes
Naturally to me
Is the very thing
I should avoid,
Masquerading as God-given
It grabs me wholly,
Insisting on its validity,
Persuading me rationally,
Invading my thoughts
With seeming synchronicity.

That which comes
Naturally to me
Is the very thing
I learned to do
While coping with life,
Learning as a child does
To take control, avoid pain,
Escape disappointment,
Take care of myself,
Disregard the loneliness.

That which comes
Naturally to me
Is a resulting thing
And not at heart,
For underneath its fierce emotion
Lies divine intention
Waiting to be discovered,
Patiently knocking
On the door of my conscience,
Ready to unveil the unreal me.

That which comes
Naturally to me
Commands the flesh
To WAR against
The Spirit of the living Christ
And His quiet truth
I am called to walk in
And draw from, yielding to
The absence of demanding rationale…
In hopes of attaining the prefix super-.

GHOST

I'm chasing a ghost
That I can not take hold of
And often can not even see
Elusive, intangible,
Slips through my hands
Like the notion that
She's the real me.

She flickers and motions,
Still now inconsistent
And made up of vapors and wisps,
This creature I long to
Become and embody
Does not utter words
From her lips.

I know her by instinct
And never by logic,
She haunts to the
Core of my soul,
Believing and calling,
Always with Spirit,
But she would not seek to control.

It's fear that reminds me
Why I won't become her,
Still trapped in the
Shell of this skin,
And strangely enough
It's surrender I run from
While holding the best of me in.

In Christ Alone

I have no defense
But Christ alone,
The reason for all that I do,
Who raises me up
To more than I am
And sees that my heart remains true.

I have no footing
But Christ alone,
The rock upon which I must stand,
Who carries the weight
Of my burdens with ease
And holds me within His right hand.

I have no intention
But Christ’s alone,
His Kingdom is all that I see,
‘Til bringing Him glory
Becomes my obsession,
My trust in His goodness complete.


6/10

BETRAYAL

This I do not understand,
How good intention, reaching out,
Is stricken down by accusation,
That which seeks but to uphold
Is torn apart in daft delusion,
That professed as friendship
Now mistaken for derision –
And it feels like broken promise
As betrayal cold and dark
Comes to do its bitter calling,
Sure to miss the trusted mark.

Something Like This...

This Emotion is a Demon
Struggling to be set free
From the prison I have formed
By trapping it inside of me
For fear its power, ever loosed,
Might take control unstoppably
And turn the thinking I depend on
Into liability
In effort to fulfill the flesh
That cries out of its awful need
For give and take between another
Bonding us entirely
‘Til I no more exist as one
Alone with this insanity.




KDC 5/2010