Something Like This...

This Emotion is a Demon
Struggling to be set free
From the prison I have formed
By trapping it inside of me
For fear its power, ever loosed,
Might take control unstoppably
And turn the thinking I depend on
Into liability
In effort to fulfill the flesh
That cries out of its awful need
For give and take between another
Bonding us entirely
‘Til I no more exist as one
Alone with this insanity.




KDC 5/2010

I AM NOT

I am not to be God
But to show Him,
I am just to speak
The truth in love,
I am not to force you
To believe me
But to point you to
The One to trust.
I am not to save you
From your folly
But to pick you up
When you might fall,
I am not to change you,
Though I want to!
I am needful of
A change of mind,
For I am not to think
But let go of me,
When falling for lies
Of such vanity -
And I am not too proud
To need you to show,
But not to force,
Speaking in love
Thus to point me
Into submitting unto
The One we trust.

PRESENCE

When your presence
Finds existence
I am swallowed,
Taken up
In overwhelming
Understanding
Of the smallness
Of my love
Compared with
You who speak
Creation
And surround
All that we see
With power endless
In compassion
Never ceasing
But to BE.

IT

I looked for it,
But found it gone -
Funny how it took so long
To faith avow
And make response
Without anticipation.

I felt it there
In younger times,
Adopted it as ever mine
Until without
Was awkward more
Than being in its presence.

I miss it some,
For hinged on such
Was in myself a measured trust
But nonetheless
The safety there
Was never to fulfill.

I do not know
Quite how to feel
Without the constant need to heal
The sordid wounds
That taught me fear
I think I’ll live without.



KDC 4/2010

The Wisdom of Oswald

"You cannot have a moral vacation and remain moral, nor can you have a spiritual holiday and remain spiritual."

Allowance

The good Lord, He gives
And allows to be taken
The things we believe to have earned –
For nothing in this life
Can wake up and shake us
More than a tide that has turned
To reveal that the gift
Became more than the giver
When viewed within light of our need,
Presuming that we know
What He could do better
To quench our inherited greed.

LINES

THE LINES ARE BLURRED
AND IN BETWEEN
THE SMEARED REMAINS
OF WHAT HAS BEEN
AS TIME ALLOWS TO HEAL
OPEN WOUNDS,
THAT WE MIGHT FEEL.

THE LINES WERE DRAWN
SO LONG AGO
BEFORE WE WERE
SUPPOSED TO KNOW
THAT HURT IS NOT THE END
WHEN WE'RE
WRAPPED INSIDE DEFENSE.

THE LINES OF FACES
DEEPER GROW
AS WE TAKE HOLD
OF LETTING GO
TO FIND THE LIGHT OF HOPE
SHOWING HOW
TO LIVE BEYOND TO COPE.

MORE, AGAIN

More, again,
Persistent mess,
Human walls
Put up against…
My way, yours,
In between -
Resolution’s
Rarely clean.

More, again,
Left behind,
Dirty remnants
Over time…
My scars, yours,
Unforgotten –
Conflict all
Along begotten.

More, again,
Much undesired,
Peace remains
Though uninspired…
My soul, yours,
The one escape -
A world away
For which we wait.

MATTERS

It no longer matters,
The how or the why,
The fault of whom,
The wasted time,
Nor does it seem
To matter now
The sum of damage
Too profound…
The only thing
That I can see
That makes a difference
Is that we
Don’t allow it to matter,
The how or the why,
The fault of whom,
The wasted time,
The fear we hide.

ILLUSION

ALL CONTROL IS ILLUSION

YOU HAVE NO CONTROL

THERE IS NO CONTROLLING THE OUTCOMES

CONTROL IS LOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE

YOU ONLY THINK YOU CONTROL

BUT YOU DON'T, IT IS A LIE

YOU HAVE BELIEVED A LIE

IF YOU THINK YOU ARE IN CONTROL

OF
A N Y T H I N G
A T
A L L